You Don't Need To Know This But...v2.0: Groaner

OK. Do you know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? (Wait for it...)

The taste.
(You may groan now.)

Spend A Moment With A Quote

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!"~P.J. O’Rourke

"It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it."
~Lillian Hellman

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
~P J O'Rourke

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependency, from dependency back to bondage."
~Alexander Tyler
(No, he wasn't writing about the United States. This quote is well over one hundred years old. Tyler was writing about the fall of the Athenian Republic.)

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."
~Samuel Adams

"Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along. We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is -- the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history."
~George W Bush

"I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
~Winston Churchill

"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance."
~ Unknown (Liberal) Oxymoron

"We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed."
~Unknown (Conservative) American

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have."
~Thomas Jefferson

"The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."
~Will Rogers

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.."
~Groucho Marx

"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent which will reach to himself."
~Thomas Paine

"The quickest way to end a war is to lose it."
~George Orwell

"We know what our policy is regarding the territory of Israel, Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia and even Nagorno-Karabakh. What is our policy regarding the territory of the United States? No nation in history has ever been as willing to accommodate those who would dismember it as has the United States of America. Trying to get a straight pro-U. S. comment out of a U.S. elected official is like trying to nail a custard pie to the side of a barn."
~Barry Farber

You Don't Need To Know This But...v2.0

Saturday, September 03, 2005

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